Also, at this point H refuses to see any sort of M counselor or get any outside help. I know that everyone has to work on their M's in their own way, which doesn't always have to mean getting counseling. But how in the world do I help him to make the changes he has to make without him getting his own help? I guess it all goes back to the fact that it only takes one person to turn over the first domino and to cause different reactions from those around us based on our OWN actions. I can only pray to be able to learn enough on my own to be able to initiate those changes.
WHY on earth are you worried about HIS changes right now???? You have to focus on you FIRST. You can only control you right now and ever. Not him.
See you are falling back into the controling wife routine. That is what got you here woman. STOPPPPPP!!!!!!
You are not healed, you are wounded, you have things you need to fix in yourself, how can something broken fix something else that is broken? It can't
You need to reread the DB books. You need to get the Power of a praying wife. Both books explicitly say that change in a marriage starts with you. It starts with you the wife in this sitch. You have to change before you can expect any changes anywhere else.
You have to develop self discipline, selflessness and unconditional love for your husband.
What that means is you love him in such a way that you DO NOT try to change him. You accept him for who he is. Now if God sees fit he will change your H. However according to the Power of a Praying Wife and the DB book, the change will start with you first, it is starting with me first, it is starting with those of us on this board.
