Yes, that makes sense. Thanks, 25. Will do. It is much easier being at home to let him be right now. I still find myself worrying about what/how he is doing and what time he is spending with her, where he's sleeping, etc., but it's not as "in my face" anymore, if that makes sense.

I will dress nice for tonight's meeting and will be upbeat.

I understand what you're saying about him coming home too soon. How will I know when the time IS right?

Also, at this point H refuses to see any sort of M counselor or get any outside help. I know that everyone has to work on their M's in their own way, which doesn't always have to mean getting counseling. But how in the world do I help him to make the changes he has to make without him getting his own help? I guess it all goes back to the fact that it only takes one person to turn over the first domino and to cause different reactions from those around us based on our OWN actions. I can only pray to be able to learn enough on my own to be able to initiate those changes.

BTW, I haven't taken a Xanax in I don't even remember how long! \:\) My crying spells have lessened. I am still taking the Wellbutrin and Buspar (sp?) and on occasion the sleeping pills. I think the medication has helped to even me out a little bit and calm me down some - or maybe (hopefully) it's ME that has done that...