amen to Lin and HS's words. It is from our own experience that we are advising you. Taking him back too soon, IF it comes up as an option, will likely be ultimately fatal to the M. In my M, I am joining my H late this summer after d18 is settled into school and other loose ends are tied. Meanwhile we visit often. BUT my H and I both have seen a mc before and during the sep and ESPECIALLY NOW, I need my mc to be with H and I so that we have a laid out strategy for avoiding the pitfalls that had undermined our M the past few years.
This is yet another stage of the WORK required. I could not just forget about the past 2 years, I don't have amnesia. But as long as I believe my H has changed and is making US his priority, and as long as I don't cross my arms, emotionally, to him, I think we'll be alright. But look at my timeline.... "Love is patient...."
MY biggest regret, and God knows I have many of them, is that I stalled my own growth with my anger and obsessing. That stalled other things and had it not been for my dbing, it would have ended the M in all probability. You need to assume your H is unreachable b/c he's in Iraq, MIA, or the Australian Bush or whatever it takes to NOT contact him other than business. Work on and for YOU. ANd since you WILL see him on occasion, and you WILL be upbeat, it won't take more than a few of those sightings, before he KNOWS you are not pining for him. Silence is much more powerful at this stage, than you calling him to tell him you are not always thinking of him.....really. Do you see this? j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
