Thanks for answering those questions. When she was "pushing" you how did you receive that pushing? Did it appear as nagging to you, or did you recognize that you were causing her pain?
The reason I ask is that in the beginning, when I was trying to address this same issue in my own marriage with my H...no matter what I said, he received it as nagging. No matter what tone I used, no matter what words...I was still nagging him in his eyes. For many people "nagging" is in itself enough to turnoff that sexual desire toward the other person, at least temporarily...then if it persists, it can go on.
What type of diet do you have? I ask this because quite some time back we had another male who participated on these BB's under the name CSW. His libido disappeared as well...he did some research and found out that his diet was one of the main factors. He THOUGHT he was doing himself a favor and eating in a very healthy manner, ate lots of soy products. He consumed much more soy than he really should have, consuming too much soy has the result of....dropping the libido to nearly nil.
Do you work out at all? Working out is known to help increase the libido as well. It gets the endorphins pumping, decreases stress and gets the juices flowing too.
When you say you have very little interest...what exactly does that mean? That's kind of a vague statement. Do you think about sex at all?
Just read your updated post....ok so you two went to MC, that was a good idea...but if "sex" itself wasn't being addressed and you both wanted it addressed...how about finding a "sex therapist"? There are therapists out there who specialize in these issues. They will give you exercises (some physical, some not) to help you work past whatever it is that is the issue, or discover the actual issue. MC's don't always specialize in "sexual" issues. Perhaps if you tell your W that you are seeing a "specialist" to work past this she would be willing to join you if you invite her.
If my H had come to me and said that he was seeing a specialist and would like me to attend with him, I cannot tell you what music that would have been to my ears. FWIW...when I first came to these boards I was ready to leave my marriage, divorce WAS imminent at that time.
