The one thing that crossed my mind is I felt the same way for years and was "rejecting" my H left & right. Didn't realize that that was how he was taking it, but I know now how much that hurt him.

You said that once you do ML, you enjoy it and wonder why you don't do that more often: THEN JUST DO IT MORE OFTEN. I can remember that I was just too tired or didn't want to take the time, etc. Now that my drive has leveled off, I've felt that a few times again, but I just go ahead & get started and then you are off & running again instead of just NOT doing it and letting it go to the wayside.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10