Yes, I've had a physical. They say everything is ok. My Testosterone level is in the "acceptable" range, however it was on the low end.
Stress, diet, and depression could be an issue. However, I'm in counceling and taking anti-depressiants, and feel better now than in years.
She has been "pushing" for years. I just haven't been listening. May be it's a control thing. Now that she's left me, I am a wake. I want to solve the problem. I have a pattern of procrastination and seem to solve problems at the very last.
I really just have very little interest now days. When we've done it I always enjoy it and often think, why don't we do that more often.
I love my wife very much. I just can't seem to get started.
Yes, I have masturbated. It's not very often, but, yes I have. In the teen's & 20's, it was all the time. When we first got married I did some, but now it's rare.
What have I done? Last October she came to me and wanted a D due to this issue. We talked and decided to go to counceling. Things seem to be going well, but we were focused more on the depression and how each of us thought differently. We really didn't get into the sex issue. That was coming up next. A few weeks ago my wife said that it wasn't working and moved out.
I wish now that we'd focused more on the sex issue, but I probably needed to get issues with the depression and get "me" better before moving on to the sex.
But, now my wife is mad, hurt, and feels rejected. I don't blame her. I now understand better how I have hurt her. I just didn't view sex as that big of deal.
I plan to continue my reading and I'm working on a letter. But in that letter, I've got to be able to truly answer why this happened. After that, I just don't know. She may be too hurt at this point, but she may give me a second chance.
I want to do this for her, but also it's for me. I don't want this to ever be a problem again. But, I hope I'm with her.
