Oh of course I still check up on him....we're just barely a year out from that. Building the trust back takes time and that's one of the few ways I can actively build trust. I have also worked very hard to give my H opportunities to help rebuild my trust...for the first couple of months that wasn't so easy-going, then he learned it really was better to just tell me the truth, now that's not an issue. Every now and then when I start triggering I will go ahead and reinstall the keylogger...ever since our Dday doing this has cleared him of my suspicion and my trigger everytime. Right now the keylogger is still on the computer but I don't feel the need to go check it, in fact I raraely do these days.
Yes, I have forgiven my H for what he did...but it wasn't as quickly as it might have appeared, but probably quicker than most might have. Why? Because once I figured out that he had a version of whore/madonna...I understood what was going on, that made it easier for me to forgive. AND...his own behaviors towards me aided in that forgiveness as well.
As for the porn issue. Honestly, if we had a good sex life prior to our Dday, no I wouldn't have had a big issue with "porn", I would still have had an issue with Adult Friend Finder though...that would never have been ok. However...if you are defining a "habit" as my H having sex with me and then going off and cruising porn sites...yes, that I would have an issue with as well, that would feel like a slap in my face. As if, what we just shared, what I just gave him...wasn't good enough. Porn in my view is something that should be an occasional thing, not a regular ocurrence.
