I go on to check my email and look around, (yeh, I know I shouldn't) and he's been watching porn.....I was sooo mad. I don't even mind porn, we used to watch it together, but that he can't be bothered with me but still getting off on porn is making my blood boil.
Ok, first off...why shouldn't you look around on YOUR computer? It belongs to BOTH of you. If your H is neglecting you sexually and turning to porn it's a problem...and I'm not surprised it makes your blood boil. It did mine too!!!
FWIW, my H turned to porn on the computer (behind my back) for the first few years of our marriage....all the while neglecting me sexually and rejecting me.
If you are available to your H sexually and he is rejecting you in favor of the computer, or even turning to it AFTER you have sexual encounters there's a serious issue here that needs to be addressed.
I would actually suspect that there is more going on than meets the eye. Are you familiar with what a keylogger is? If not, get familiar, install one on your computer. Find out the real extent of what he's doing, so you know exactly what you are dealing with. Is it simply just him looking at porn sites...OR...is he going out to places like AFF (Adult Friend Finder) and hooking up with people that way online? Honestly, you need to know, one way is simply viewing....the other very often leads to actual interaction (viewing webcams of people in YOUR area, IM'ing, e-mails....and then some people end up meeting too). That's why I say, you need to find out what you are truly dealing with.
The reason I suggest the keylogger is his real lack of affection. I noticed (looking back) that my H shut down toward me physically and emotionally when he was visiting AFF and getting his sexual fix there. When he did that there was absolutely no need for him to be intimate with me on any level...because he already had his needs met, while mine went by the wayside and I grew angrier and more resentful each passing day.
