Sooo mad, porn but no sex.

[heatherg]

I was saying that porn was a problem (when it was) because it was a cause of neglect.

I'm confused by this. Did porn used to be a problem in your M?

I have a different interpretation of those promises than you do, probably for self-serving reasons. So far it hasn't blown up in my face. Yet.

What is your interpretation of the promises? When you say that your interpretation hasn't blown up in your face yet, it made me wonder if your W has any idea about your porn activity? Speaking specifically of your porn activity, would you classify it as a habit?

Would you say that a spouse that looked for "loopholes" in the agreement would make you feel less secure about his commitment?

Um, yes. Wouldn't it for you?

Would you say that a spouse that wholeheartedly embraced monogomay and interpreted it broadly would make you feel more secure even though it meant he held you to the same standard? Would it make you feel more secure because he held you to the same standard?

This is a tough question for me because it gets really close to my history. The ultimate answer though, is yes it would make me feel more secure to have a spouse that wholeheartedly embraced monogomy, although I don't know it would make me secure because he held me to the same standard. It would make me feel secure because it would be apparent it is a topic he's thought about enough to have a strong opinion and that kind of a strong opinion lessens the chance that he'd break my heart. = security.

Should you embrace lack of physical and aesthetic variety as an integral and desirable part of marriage

I honestly don't see any other way to look at it. That's what M is, that's what love is. You find THE person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. And then you do. Why would you want to dwell on the idea that you can't have variety anymore.....it seems to me that if you are even inclined to dwell on that, you weren't ready to get married in the first place, kwim?

To address this issue in my own life, I've thought a lot about just changing the things about me that I'd like to change. I've thought along the lines of 'maybe if I'm completely happy with what I see in the mirror, I won't care about what H is doing'. But I know that it isn't true. I shouldn't have to be perfect to be respected, to be cherished above all others. I love guys, I love the way they look, smell. But I don't get online and try to find naked pictures of them! I just don't get where that's respectable, I'd be embarrassed honestly.

About the girls seeming like they are having the time of their lives.....getting fukced is a job for them, it's their JOB. Do you know many people who describe going to work as the 'time of their life'? Didn't think so. And most people don't even have to endure cum on their face from a stranger as part of their job. Come on, there are damn few people in the world that would honestly consider that to be the time of their lives. If you want to honestly see someone have the time of their lives, arrange a special date night for you wife and treat her like the special person that she is to you. Tell her, show her. And look in her eyes. There it is.