[/quote] Are the unresolved issues as clear to your wife as they are to you? It sounds like she is accepting your advise which is good. I hope she won't resent you trying to fix things for her (giving her the message she can't do it by herself). Continue to be a good (and concerned) listener.
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Matilda and Slowly, I think my W is generally aware of some of her issues--procrastination, perfectionism, anxiety, etc.. I think she lacks hopefullness that she can work-thru these issues. She is overwhelmed by them.
She does have a positive in her live (in addition to me IMO). She has been asked by one of the top amateur salsa dancers in our community to compete in a competition this summer.
She has begun taking private lessons to prepare for this. As is her pattern she has set high undefined standards for herself. Thankfully, she has found a calm, patient, positive teacher to work with.
She has made comments over the past months about needing someone with a temperament similar to hers. However, it's the calm temperament that she responds to to help ground her.
She was eager to tell me about her dance lesson yesterday. He has identified areas for her to work on and to stretch her skills as a dancer. She thinks highly of him as a person and a dance instructor. I'm thrilled that they're working together.
She asked me to dinner last night and I accepted. We joined her chiropractor, who is a regular at the restaurant to watch the ballgame, and chat. It was a nice evening.
I'm thinking of declining the invitation to the neice's skating event next weekend. I don't think I can stay positive for an entire overnight trip. I also want to start breaking the pattern of going on family outings out of loyalty and obligation every time.
Matilda, please let me know when and where you start your new thread.
CL
Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 04/18/0711:04 PM.
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
