Heywyre, You are more than correct. The first thing that has to happen is W has to admit there is a problem w/ a solution other than D. I don't blame the C for all of this. I think W had started going this way too, before she started w/ C, but C has definitely reinforced her position. You are also very right in that there are always two sides to the story. That is one of the specific reasons I risked calling her C. At the same time, C has to be open to hearing both sides. She didn't really want to talk w/ me. More like she talked to me. I guess I can't really expect any different and probably would have/ should have expected C to support W. W is C's patient. I freely admit, I'm not a perfect husband. I should have been more supportive and more observant to the warning signs. There are things that came to light durning all of this that made me realize I should have been do things differently. That's why I started working on myself.
As for MC, I felt like MC had a schedule she was working from, whether it really fit us or not. I was more concerned about the general condition of what our R had turned into. W would bring up past b**ch list during a sessions. Things that had already been adressed. MC would concentrate on specific sitch (i.e.- W wanted me to do more house work. W felt she did more than half. OK, so I started do more of housework. Not a big deal. MC spend 20 or 30 mins in cpl sessions about making up a list of chores of house work and making sure it was 50/50. We were well past all that, or at least I thought we were.) I couldn't get W to forgive and couldn't get MC to understand it didn't make a difference what I did, said or didn't say. It didn't help. MC said she didn't want to seem like she was taking sides. Annyywaaay.
Of course there is also the point of view that I'm full of c@#p and a terrible H. I've put my side of the story up on BB and people have supported me or offered support and advise based on what I've posted. I guess it's no different than what C is doing for W.
As far as W getting medical treatment. It ain't gonna happen. W is flat out solid in her position, she is not D. Doesn't matter how someone tries to rationalize w/ her, especially me. She's not D, never was, except when she's around me. She took offense when I told MC I thought she never really got over postpartum from S8 and it's just kind of drug on and snowballed since. During one R talks last summer, W tells me she's just naturally a blue person. Says she's been that way for years. I still think this some of the stuff that goes back to problems W had w/ F, as well as losing M when a teen. But again, maybe I'm just full of it and looking for any justification as to why W wants out of M.
