Tam


...enough with the apologies...overkill...too many become pure
meaningless...you apologized - end of story...no more.

Today is your assessment.

Tam, you have a dyfunction within your emotional interpersonal
relationships with family/H...it's clinically called a neurosis.
Between the growth from childhood emotions, to adulthood emotions
there is a transitional stage...it's the adjustment stage. Most
grow forward...however, some remain frozen, due to a fear of the
feelings of abandonment...or other beliefs. Your fear arises
from someone not being there to secure your fear of being left.
You ran back to your child-like safety zone for comfort, where
you remain.

Your inability to understand this is due to you not knowing how
to react any differently...thus, you keep repeating patterns.
This is all you know what to do...it's comfortable. This is
why your behavior is child-like...immediate gratification, my
pain, my hurt, me, me, me, it's all about me (you). You don't
care about your husband's needs of space and time, his need to
get his identity back...it's all about you and what is best for
you...the child.

It was likely caused by his need to seperate from your grip of
control, suffocation, manipulation...the child held on tighter.
Your need to be attached to him 24/7 is what keeps him away.
He cannot do anything without you being apart of it. Every
marriage has three components...you...spouse...couple...when an
imbalance occurs, one or all suffer. You need time for yourself,
friends, family...he does as well...without each other involved.

Sunday, he raced his car...his time, his hobby, he asked his dad
to go...father son time...he never called you to go...yet Tam
shows up...white flag...here I am, don't forget me...unless he
asks you to go anywhere...don't assume that marriage license
entitles you to go everywhere he goes...respect him, respect
his need for space. The path you are on will kill this marriage
100%.

Work with your therapist...she will correct this neurosis....
but until you resolve this, it will spiral...you are not mentally
ill, disturbed, or need meds. Yes, I'm qualified to assess you
based on your posts, never before have I met you, or talked to
you...it shouldn't have been hard to figure out.

I'm giving you this push to progress your healing...plus, you
just saved about 4 50 min. sessions with your therapist...

Will talk with you later...