...enough with the apologies...overkill...too many become pure meaningless...you apologized - end of story...no more.
Today is your assessment.
Tam, you have a dyfunction within your emotional interpersonal relationships with family/H...it's clinically called a neurosis. Between the growth from childhood emotions, to adulthood emotions there is a transitional stage...it's the adjustment stage. Most grow forward...however, some remain frozen, due to a fear of the feelings of abandonment...or other beliefs. Your fear arises from someone not being there to secure your fear of being left. You ran back to your child-like safety zone for comfort, where you remain.
Your inability to understand this is due to you not knowing how to react any differently...thus, you keep repeating patterns. This is all you know what to do...it's comfortable. This is why your behavior is child-like...immediate gratification, my pain, my hurt, me, me, me, it's all about me (you). You don't care about your husband's needs of space and time, his need to get his identity back...it's all about you and what is best for you...the child.
It was likely caused by his need to seperate from your grip of control, suffocation, manipulation...the child held on tighter. Your need to be attached to him 24/7 is what keeps him away. He cannot do anything without you being apart of it. Every marriage has three components...you...spouse...couple...when an imbalance occurs, one or all suffer. You need time for yourself, friends, family...he does as well...without each other involved.
Sunday, he raced his car...his time, his hobby, he asked his dad to go...father son time...he never called you to go...yet Tam shows up...white flag...here I am, don't forget me...unless he asks you to go anywhere...don't assume that marriage license entitles you to go everywhere he goes...respect him, respect his need for space. The path you are on will kill this marriage 100%.
Work with your therapist...she will correct this neurosis.... but until you resolve this, it will spiral...you are not mentally ill, disturbed, or need meds. Yes, I'm qualified to assess you based on your posts, never before have I met you, or talked to you...it shouldn't have been hard to figure out.
I'm giving you this push to progress your healing...plus, you just saved about 4 50 min. sessions with your therapist...