Quote: ----------------------------------------------------------- NOP: need some advice on EA's. I know that I can't necessarily do anything -- he is the one who is going to have to finally see that it is damaging to our R and M and make some changes or quit talking to her, etc., but is there anything I should be doing in this sitch? I still just don't understand what they are still talking about. If he's still telling her things are not good between us, wouldn't that make him feel guilty as things have been going very well? What is it that he still needs from her or is getting from her that I'm not giving? -----------------------------------------------------------
There are lots of things you can do. Give me some details, everything you know about her (except real name of course).
Does she work with him in the military?
What proof do you have of the affair?
Does she have a husband, kids, parents?
That kind of thing.
Some people believe that you just be your best self and wait for the affair to die a natural death. Others believe that you can take a more proactive stance. What you do depends on how far out there you are willing to put yourself.
An emotional affair is simply a romantic affair that hasn't been physically consummated. That means that he is letting someone else meet his needs. That is also likely the reason that he is reluctant to let you meet them. Some people are "cake eaters". They like the drama of having two people fight for them.
If you want me to help you with your situation, you will have to give me as much information as you can about your relationship and the affair. You will also need to let me know what your boundaries are toward forcing the breakup of the affair.
Even if you don't want to do any of that, I will be glad to make general suggestions and support you through this.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
