IMHO you can not do both. I believe that you actually have to just let go in hopes that they return later down the line. By holding on you are still applying pressure to the R and the spouse realizes it. Eventhough you ay not.
I am not saying run out and file but maybe just forget about being married for a while and concentrate on your life with out her. Act as if you are D'ed already but are still living in the same house. When you have interactions with her you have to be civil due to the kids sake but now you do not have to walk on egg shells or worry about her in anyway.
Hope that helps. Just seems like you two are on different paths right now that may or may not cross again. Hopefully they do.
Take care, O
Ben 32 STBXW 29 3 kids (D1,S4,SD8) (1 dog 5months) Status: Fighting for the Kids.
"The only thing we know about future developments is that they will develope."
