yet I'm the problem and need to be kicked to the ground and run over repeatedly.
Although to say it sounds horrible, the answer to this is it's because you love her. In the core of her soul she knows that but she is not consciously aware of why she is mean to you in particular. Sure some "reasons" she may state have a ring of legitimacy I am sure, but she can only fleetingly acknowledge to herself the fact that her anger is disproportionate to her treatment of you since the MLC began. She can't dig deeper right now than to MAYBE acknowledge THAT and then, only to herself. I'd bet she thinks about it sometimes when she's alone. That's the first step towards coming out of MLC however there is a long, dark tunnel still ahead for her, in my opinion.
Much of the anger in a MLCer really can't be explained until they're coming OUT of the MLC. Maybe not until they are ALL the way out. When the pieces of the puzzle start fitting in her mind and she reflects on the recent hellish past with new eyes she might find that for the most part you weren't the problem at all. It was her. And that will probably cause her to look at her childhood, where she will have an opportunity to make peace.
She acknowledges she's a mess now and that has to be a good sign. Unfortunately, I don't think it speeds up the process. And you don't want it to because that will retard her healing process which is vital to YOUR future as well as hers and the children's.
I'm not sure that didn't just confuse the hell out of you but if it did I apologize.
I'll look back in on you tomorrow.
OOPS! Almost forgot. The weekend. Take the family to see a funny movie. It might be a little uncomfortable when she arrives but I'm thinking if you go see a movie you don't have to really interact directly and laughter can break through ANY awkward atmosphere in a second!
