Life goes on, and it ain't about Job

[81388*]

Ford,YM, and O;
Thanks, it does help to know others have been there, are there, and have lived to tell the tale.

I am confused, I want to get to the point where I am unaffected by my wife's behavior, but how do I preserve wanting to be married to her as I get to that point?

The POS OM issue seems insurmountable. I really don't know how much longer I can take it. I try to focus on positive images of my wife and I together in the future, I try to thought stop when images of her and OM come to mind, I try to detach, but none of it works, and the same thoughts and images keep coming up. I keep coming back to the same place, if I really don't care what she does or who she does it with, then I can't see how I would want to be married to her.

Why did she have to do it this way? If she is done, fine. File, go through the process, then move on to POS. Why the most painful possible choice? And in the face of it all, why not just pull the trigger? WTF? You want a divorce, you are engaged to someone else, you are having sex with it, you have abandoned your family and your home, you have burned almost every bridge you ever built, you are lying to and about the person who was your best friend and has been there for you longer then anyone, you have shown that you are content seeing your kids for a day and a half every two weeks, but you won't just go ahead and file. At the same time you refuse to talk about it. I just don't get it.