I like that you're pulling in the purse strings. I think that's wise and I think it will help her understand what she is giving up if she continues with this. Financial security and her family should be a concern.... Also, I don't think you should be funding OMs and your Ws excursions.

The reason your wife doesn't tell you it's serious with OM is she's probably afraid. Although she may not want you, she doesn't want to lose your support at this time.

I hate to say this, and I don't personally know your wife so I could always be wrong and this is purely a guess... but from what you've described and what I've observed about affairs.... my guess is your wife's affair is probably physical and it's probably more serious than you realize.

I understand she's giving you information and some "honesty" but typically cheaters lie (really well!) and I wouldn't be surprised if she's hiding much more than she's sharing...

Keep in mind, this is just my guess...

My suggestion is to emotionally detach, focus more on yourself and your kids, find a good support system and work on YOU.

There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.