DSH, How is your dad? That is a horiffic accident. So sorry you are going through this too. Just when you didn't need more emotional turmoil. At a time you'd like someone to lean on, they're not there. I hope your dad's hand heals, and that they give him some good drugs for any pain.
H and I had an arguement one night on our way to my dad's house. (long trip). It was a terrible arguement. That night, my dad had a heart attack. Thank God, we were there. H got Dad to hospital, (Dad wouldn't go just because I or his wife told him to). H stayed till the next day, went back home (5 hr drive). He came back for one day for open heart surgery a couple weeks later. I rode home with him to pick my car up and come drive back. On that ride home, I noticed he didn't speak to me or touch me, or let me touch him, for the entire 5 hour ride. He would have usually laid his hand on my leg on and off. When I asked about it, he said he didn't feel like it. When I got back, home a couple weeks later, he said we would no longer be physical. I needed support, because of my dad's situation, and got exacty what your H is giving you in the way of support... none. No sympathy, no empathy, no shoulder to cry on, nothing!... even less than nothing. They cost us emotions, instead of supporting us.
This seems very typical on this board. Look at it as confirmation of a personal crisis in them. But, look at it this way, you don't have to worry about making sure he has dinner, or a clean shirt. You can take care of you, and your dad.
On the bright side, did you ever notice old people that have had tragedy in their lives, the little things that happen each day that tick us off, don't bother them? That will be us. After going through this, we have to learn so much patience, and the ability to not say what we think, the minute we say it, waiting till we are calmer. I bet you didn't think there was a bright side to this. Well, if there is one, this is the only one I've found.
Sorry,I have no answer for why they get to play, and we have to deal with it all. Have found no answer for that anywhere.
