You will probably pass your black Sunday anniversary without noticing! I did. I had it in my phone calendar and thought the date was imprinted on my brain but then I only noticed we'd passed the date when I looked in my calendar for something else!!
Things still seem to be up and down but from reading other piecing posts it seems pretty normal. When I say up and down its more me feeling up and down. I still feel so insecure and seem to be monitoring every kiss and cuddle like if they are not regular enough something is wrong. Crazy eh? I truly wish I could get to a point where I just relax and know he is home forever. He is being so loving and attentive and caring right now which is helping. I think he is truly in love with me again. He has started saying it more often - it is almost like when we first started dating if it wasn't for the insecurity. He talks about the future a lot and wants to plan a holiday and we have ironed out another couple of "niggles" left over from being separated. In an odd way it seems like he is trying more than me at the moment which is in one way really great and in another way a little worrying. Worrying in the sense that I'm not sure why I've stopped trying so hard. Maybe I'm just worn out with it all subconciously and think its his turn.
He is on his night shifts this week and it feels quite sad to not be able to sleep next to him. That is one thing I really love about our new M - the way I really appreciate all the little things like waking up with him. He said the other day he looks forward to coming home from work now which made me feel really happy because he said over and over after he left that for months he had hated the thought of coming home - a fact I was completely unaware of of course.
Anyway I seem to be just rambling now and its late so I'm going to stop now and go to bed.
