Downhill and off a Cliff

[RedHeadWife]

Coming from my POV (point of view) as your sitch sounds a lot like how I was feeling/acting, I would say she's just not happy w/ herself, bottom line. She doesn't know who she is anymore and she doesn't know what she wants anymore.

That's how I felt -- we had 3 kids in the matter of 7 yrs. By the time we got married, I had given up on ever having kids; when I was younger never thought I wanted them. I got pregnant w/ our first w/in 2 wks of getting married; I got out of the military so that we both wouldn't be in the military w/ children. Anyway, I totally ended up losing any sort of self during those years. I didn't know HOW to be a mom and a wife and working, etc., etc., etc.

Instead of figuring it out or just being happy, I became angry, bitter, resentful, etc. toward H.

I have now found that instead of focusing my negative toward H, I am much more happy having a happy M and R w/ H and working hand in hand w/ H on house, kids, etc.

I didn't realize what I was missing out on shutting H out and not wanting to ML, etc. I truly have a lot of regrets now that I realize all that I missed out on all these years that I was feeling so angry about everything.

I wish I could talk to her (your W) and tell her what I've learned. When H dropped the D bomb, it was devestating -- I truly had never realized what I had to lose! I love H more now than ever before and am still praying that all is not lost.