Downhill and off a Cliff

[OpenGuy]

Hi, Openguy.
You need to tell your wife exactly what you are going through, and do it ASAP.

Thanks. I thought so, but she's reacted very negatively in the past. I've been scared to bring it up. Why is doing the right thing usually so hard?

Here is the deal. The apathy and disgust are precursors to a completely dead relationship. Once disgust sets in, it can be very difficult for you to change your mind, even if your wife starts doing all the right things.

Yes, I thought so. It just came on all of a sudden. I wanted some feedback that I wasn't going off the deep end or around the bend. It felt very much like a death of part of our relationship. When she declared a sex-moratorium a few months ago, I had much the same feelings. (of death, not apathy and disgust)

Do you think you can discuss this issue and your feelings with your wife without being angry or condescending? She especially needs to know how offensive the "happy act" was to you.
Please let us know your thoughts.
All the best,
-NOPkins-

The hard part will be not reacting when she responds. "Why do you always have to be sad or angry when things are going well?" "Why can't you just be happy?" "Why does it always have to be about sex?" I wasn't nearly as angry as I'd been before and what anger I do have is tempered by loss, apathy, and disgust. A whole lot of those negative feelings were expended by posting here. I think I can communicate effectively and without malice and resist the temptation to tweak her nose even just a little bit. I want to be her friend but I'm not happy and if she's my friend she'll want me to be happy.... I hope.

I want to tell her that:
1) I was really excited (not sexually) by her "talking up" our sex life to our friends and the increased touching and verbal affection this weekend.
2) When they left and it went back to the usual "touch me not" state of affairs, it was a very drastic fall.
3) This led to negative feelings on my part that are potentially very very damaging to our marriage. (I think I"ll only elaborate if necessary.)

We'll see how it goes.
Openguy