Downhill and off a Cliff

[RedHeadWife]

Ok, I had a sick feeling in my stomach as I read your post. I think you probably could have been saying word for word what my husband would have been saying or was saying right before and leading up to dropping the D bomb (well most of it - not the act thing). Anyway, my H ended up doing a lot around the house trying to help me to be "happy" and less stressed. I had become very angry, bitter, resentful as I was trying to be someone I wasn't -- the "mommy" that I thought I should be. I ended up taking my H for granted for years and didn't see him any longer as a lover, etc. I ended up taking my stress & unhappiness out on him and no longer took care of our M or him -- I was totally focused on the children and how stressed out I was all the time and was not basically just not a very happy person.

My H too tried to talk to me about things and I would become angry or defensive.

I'm not suggesting you drop the D bomb, but it may take something pretty serious to get her to wake up & see what is going on. I never thought that D was an option, therefore never even thought about losing my husband or what I would be losing or what I was taking for granted. She may need a serious wake up call -- that's what it took for me, as sad as that may be.