I'm sorry he has become toxic and vindictive. With a positive mental attitude and LOTS of work I was able to forgive my H and move on, the first months the memories of what I knew and saw felt like a punch in the stomach. After about 5mths it got much better, I still asked questions now and then and my H grudgingly answer. It's been 7 months since I've learned, and I can recall the A info and not bleed, it is still a wound, but a healed one. I had to work hard on remembering without condemning.
Funny thing is one day my H told me he was amazed I forgave him, because had the sitch been reversed he' d never forgive me (I think it has to do w/men and the idea of their women being "damaged goods).
Your H seems very disturbed, is he taking meds? if at all posible encourage him to take some meds, see a dr, make an appt and tell him you'll go w/him. If have admitted your mistakes and faced him and told him you know you hurt him and have validated him, then the ball is on his court.
Sounds to me like a separation is in order, he's become abusive and unless you are some drunken druggy he can't take your d away. For your d's sake, maybe you should consider it.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
