Having too much time to myself to think about all the things I need to be setting aside, there is one thing that burns like acid, etching an image in my brain.
I know my wife's personality. I know how she acts in bed. I know what satisfies her and how she reacts to it.
I saw her lying in bed with "Friend". I know what happened. The easy part is dismissing it as a mechanical thing, a rebellious act and nothing special. The hard part is when the mind gets going and makes you wonder about everything else. Things like: Did she show him that side of her personality? The excitement, the actions that only I experienced up to that point. Did she climax? Was it that damned good?
The mannerisms, the vocalizations, the big payoff...
The mental images are maddening at times.
You at least want to believe that it couldn't have been that good. That the OM was inept with her and couldn't make it as complete as you can.
Reality is that the excitement of the taboo act itself was probably enough to make it all that and then some.
You try to put it out of your head, but there are times when you just can't manage to do it.
The mind, the imagination. A very powerful enemy in these situations.
Argue your limitations and sure enough, they are yours. - Richard Bach
