Dealing with Details....just let it go?

[Heywyre]

Men usually move forward after an A much quicker than women do. Women have much deeper emotions than men (for the most part - I don't want to hear any crap from you guys out there - lol)

Its just the way they process things. It's not that it doesn't matter to them or that they don't care, its just the way they are wired. It drives me nuts but if you have good communication you will get through this mess (and if you can't do it together, by all means do it during the C session)

My H, is finally starting to realize what I need to get through this and its hard for him because he's already moved way past it and rehashing it over and over just opens the old wound for him but it is the only way I can heal and he sees that and is willing to give me a little rope. I know it won't be indefinitely but at least for the time being he is accommodating. Unless your S is willing to forfeit his desire to move on and not talk about things, to allow you to heal in your own way, you will just push all the emotion down, thinking there is something wrong with you that you can't move forward, and then it will just fester and most likely happen all over again. Trust me, that's exactly what happened in my case and this is the second time we are going through this because we didn't handle it right the first time around.

We have got into some pretty heated discussions this time around, things that I never would have brought up for fear of retaliation. This time I knew I couldn't let it just lay there again. If bringing it up meant it would cause so much dischord between us, then I guess we weren't meant to be together after all. But we got through it, and we are stronger each day because of it.

We still have a long, long way to go and I know there will be lots more ups and downs but we are on the same path and that is the main thing.

Hang in there