Quoting jethro: I was hoping you'd stop by KAW (BTW, I've been DBing 3 months, not 3 weeks...no big).
Sorry, Jethro, I misread your post, but the point is still valid.
Quoting jethro: Is this really healthy? Am I not just shoving my feelings down like my W did for the last 16 months? I have this nagging worry that if I don't deal with the pain now I won't be able to move forward to fix things...I guess this paranoia stems from previous experiences. I don't know, maybe you're right, KAW. I just need to turn the switch for a little while, then occasionally flip it back to deal with the pain, then back again. Rollercoaster, no?
Its all about keeping in balance. Tip the scale too much one way or the other is not healthy. You do have to process your pain so you can find acceptance and forgiveness, but it must not consume you. Take breathers (using a mantra or whatever works for you) in order to avoid feeling beat up or burned out. When you feel tire of the sitch, its time to allow yourself to refreshen & strengthen your PMA so you can work through it some more with less danger of becoming overwelmed by it.
Jethro , please take what I write as words of caution meant only to avoid hitting anymore pitfalls than you have to. As to what I think ... I think you have been and will continue to do what is best for you in order to work your way through this in order to give your marriage the best prospects of being a happy one once again.
