That's pretty whacked, man. I feel your pain. My wife has decided in recent weeks that she has been sexually abused by me for the past 25 years. This revelation came AFTER I caught her in the act with another man. Doesn't it seem like that would be something they'd avoid if they had been abused?
There is no rhyme or reason to their behavior. I think there is just an incomprehensible need to live out fantasies and regain their youth, which is something they will never find. If you ask them to explain, they don't really know.
No matter what the issue is, their behavior is never their fault, of course.
It's yours.
Good luck with all of that.
Argue your limitations and sure enough, they are yours. - Richard Bach
