So W still feels like she has a wild hair - and that she appears not to want an A again but feels that she is still missing something. I agree with U24 - be supportive of her efforts at landing a job or finding a hobby that she wants to try. Doesn't matter what it is as long as W is happy with her choice - and it is her choice.
Quote: The way I look at it is a year ago when she pretty much told me the same stuff, I was clingy, whiny, etc., now I'm much more grounded. Also, although she knew before that she needed to do something (hobby or work), she really didn't want to make the effort. Now, it seems as though she really understands that she needs to do something. One more important thing to note that is different than before is that she really feels safe telling me her feelings. I am glad of this because it lets me know where she stands and I can act accordingly--push for a little more or simply back off totally.
Jethro - this speaks volumes of how far you (and W) have come. But it also speaks to what you need to continue to do: stay as well-grounded as possible, be supportive. Only you know when you should back off and when to give W a gentle nudge.
Quote: I can't say that I was surprised with what she said. I don't expect her to change her entire perspective overnight, but I'm hoping she's on her way to healing herself. She's the only one that can do it. I have 0 power and just need to be encouraging and not overbearing. Although this feels like a step backwards, I'm okay with it. I guess it'll just take a little longer than I had hoped.
Jethro - you're not going backwards and you laid out your game plan for the short term. While W begins her healing, continue yours. If it takes a little bit longer, so be it as long as you reach your goal of a better marriage. Hope that mine will begin to turn positive soon - think that I have some clues but need to crystallize them into actions...
