Did you reach a point, or moment in time when you realized you were objective about the situation? Im curious if this came as a singular point of clarity, or has been a process of ebbing and flowing to get to a final place.
I'd say it was more a gradual process...not a single point in time. There was no "lightbulb" moment, so to speak.
Originally Posted By: stilldazed
Additionally, have you vacillated at all since reaching that point?
Not really. There have been times when I've been sad, but they do not last too long and are relatively mild (compared to the early days). In addition, the sad times do not affect where I'm at in my head or my decisions.
Originally Posted By: stilldazed
True objectivity is such a hard thing for me to imagine since there is so much emotion involved with all the memories. Perhaps thats what true detachment is.
I think it is. Being detached doesn't mean you no longer care or that you've moved on. It means that you have a life, that you can function normally, that you can look at the situation objectively and without the emotional baggage. When you're detached, you're not on the rollercoaster as much and you can make clear, rational decisions about yourself, your M, and your WAS. That's not to say you feel no pain, only that it no longer drives you, your actions, or your decisions.
Originally Posted By: stilldazed
We each have our own timeframe, your minimum of one month for each year seemed quite reasonable.
I can't take credit for that...I discovered it somewhere in these forums as a rule of thumb and thought it seemed logical and reasonable. So I took it as a good minimum so that if the time came I felt like bailing, I'd have something to hold me back. A kind of safety to insure I didn't do anything stupid. It kind of makes me think of an auction. They say to pick your max. bid for any item in advance or you'll get caught up in the emotion of the moment and pay more than you're prepared for.
It's kind of ironic. When you first start to detach, it is so hard and seems nearly impossible to do. It's like climbing a steep hill that appears impossible. But each step gets you a little closer to the top and once you're over, you see what detachment is all about. You also think the hard part is over. But as anyone who's run down a steep hill knows, its nearly as hard going down. You find that the process of detaching you worked so hard to start is now dragging you away from the M and your WAS. You end up fighting the pull to move on entirely and abandon everything (and therein lies the ultimate irony).
