Hey NewBob, nice to see you chime in. I've been reading your posts, but have yet to post anything myself. I'll get to it soon. A brain surgeon? Well, I think an exorcisor is more appropriate, but I don't want to become a priest!
Also thanks for visiting J-Ro, Owen, and KAW.
Quoting Owen:Maybe she is dbing and is trying to not bring it up too much to keep you from focusing on it. Just a thought.
I don't think it's as much DBing as it is she wants me to forget...like she's trying to do. Yeah right!
Quoting J-Ro:Maybe she needs you to know that she is scared and aprehensive of you also.
I think, in a way she is. She hasn't put it in so many words, but I know she's concerned about me being able to forgive. At the same time, although she hasn't said it, I don't think she feels towards me the way she thinks she should feel towards me. This hurts because I think she still has the "ILY, but not ILWY" thing going on. I can only continue to DB and implement my knowledge of her love language to change that. In time, hopefully, she'll feel differently.
You know, if she actually told me unabashadly that she loved me and was sure I was the one, then I'd probably approach this a bit more positively. But, alas, how can I expect that after what we've been through?
Quoting KAW:My wife acts in a similar fashion as well. Her way of working through this is to try to eliminate any reminders of that dark period. To act "as-if" all is back to normal as to avoid any triggers that will cause you or her to trip back to that time. I swear, it almost seems like she has amnesia which blacks out all memory she had of the first six months of 2002.
That's gotta bug. I WANT VINDICATION! I guess hoping and getting are two different things, hey KAW?
Quoting KAW:Look for a specific deed, you will be turning a blind eye to what she is offering and you will end believing you are winding up empty handed and will continue to be disappointed.
Your description of what transpired last Friday night is a perfect example.
Okay. I hear ya... I know it wasn't an insignificant thing that she said. It's hard not to get hung up on the hurt.
Thanks guys. Feeling a little better now. We'll see what tonight has to offer. I've purposely not called her today, nor she me. I think she thinks I need space. Weird how we're always trying to second-guess the other. I have Yoga tonight, so I'm looking forward to a little grounding.
