Quoting jethro: What the hell is going on with my W? How can she act almost like nothing ever happened sometimes? I know it's self-centered and likely unhealthy, but why isn't she kissing my a$$ at every opportunity? Why isn't she making me a plaque for winning brownie button of the year? Don't get me wrong, she's more giving these days than she has been in a long time, but (LL's favorite phrase) WTF? Every time I see her the big white elephant is standing on each of our toes, yet most of the time nothing is really said...
My wife acts in a similar fashion as well. Her way of working through this is to try to eliminate any reminders of that dark period. To act "as-if" all is back to normal as to avoid any triggers that will cause you or her to trip back to that time. I swear, it almost seems like she has amnesia which blacks out all memory she had of the first six months of 2002.
Quoting jethro: but they are just that...words. I want action. I want her to DB my a$$ off. I want her to read a bunch of books like I have, and do everything in her power to get close to me.
Oh boy, Jethro. You are going to have to find a way to let this go or it will frustrate you to the point of turning you into a basket case.!! It is as relavent now than in any other part of DBing in that you cannot control how they go about doing anything and that includes how they work on the M too ... You are going to need to work on it from your end and she will do the same from her end and strive to meet somewhere in the middle. From your end, recognize her methods /language of working at it. Will what she does always satified you? No way!! , but as with any gift, its not what you received, but the thought that COUNTS! Learn to appreciate the thought and it will become more satisfying. Look for a specific deed, you will be turning a blind eye to what she is offering and you will end believing you are winding up empty handed and will continue to be disappointed.
Your description of what transpired last Friday night is a perfect example.
It is as relavent now than in any other part of DBing in that you cannot control how they go about doing anything and that includes how they work on the M too ... You are going to need to work on it from your end and she will do the same from her end and strive to meet somewhere in the middle. From your end, recognize her methods /language of working at it. Will what she does always satified you? No way!! , but as with any gift, its not what you received, but the thought that COUNTS! Learn to appreciate the thought and it will become more satisfying. Look for a specific deed, you will be turning a blind eye to what she is offering and you will end believing you are winding up empty handed and will continue to be disappointed.
