you are right that it would have been a much better and healthier thing for my h to confess then stick around and try to work it out. but that wasn't the plan for me i guess. i needed to learn that i would be ok on my own so i wouldn't choose my h out of desperation instead of trying to make a go of it for the right reasons. plus my h needed to hit rock bottom in order to self reflect and get the help he needed. it sounds like you w is a good person who made a bad mistake. i think she has courage in that she came clean and wants to do the hard work to make it better. many of our spouces hit the dirt running rather than face the consequences and pain. have a great day! lisa
