LL, Lisa, and KAW, thank you...thank you. Jeez, if it were not for you guys, I do know what...
Quoting LL:how will we know if the pain we endure while traveling this road is greater or less than the pain we would feel if we just gave up??
Yes, LL, this is so true. Not just the pain I'd feel, but that of my family.
Quoting Lisa:in some ways i was lucky in that my h just left and then told me about affair. i didn't have to see him or talk to him. i could scream and cry and throw up and swear at him and he never knew.
You know, Lisa, it's funny (not really), but I'd think your sitch would be worse than mine. At least my W simultaneously admitted it and wanted to work on our R.
Quoting Lisa:can you take a vacation alone? even a weekend away might be good. you need to create some emotional space for yourself where you feel safe, but not so distant that your w can't reach you. this will take time. every thing you feel is normal. be really gentle with yourself.
That would probably be a good idea. I'll give that some thought. You know, it would have to be somewhere where I can get an Internet connection...
Quoting KAW:Guy, you're surfing an emotional wave whether you want to or not. You have to ride it out, but it won't last. I guess you're gonna have to trust me on this one ...
At this point, KAW, I have little choice. But thanks for telling me anyway.
Quoting KAW:The way I figure it is the old R is dead and gone in the past ... along with it the A. Nothing you decide to do from this day forth will change what has happened in the past, so all you can do is bury it.
I like this slant. I guess I've been thinking we'd repair our current R, but I very much like the idea of throwing away the old and starting with the new. It's...fresh...
Well, KAW, you're going to be annoyed with me, but my W and I had to talk some tonight. She kept asking, so I gave in (I kept hiding in the bathroom so she wouldn't see the pain in my face). My hiding finally got to her. I will say I wasn't as vindictive as I sounded in my previous post. She cried a little and asked if I could ever forgive her. I said I didn't know. But as we talked a little more, I simply said that I have my good moments and my bad and that today I didn't feel positive, but at the very moment I felt better and thought in the long run we'd have a much stronger R. I also said, KAW, that we can't talk about this crap everyday. It's too much. I said that we need to spend lots of time together (as well as each having space), healing, comfort each other, and meeting each other's needs. She agreed. I felt better and I think she did too. There will be no discussions tomorrow. I'm making a promise to myself.
On a side note, she knows I talk (write) to a group of people in a simliar situation and she always asks, "what do your people say about this?" I thought you'd think that kind of funny...I do... I think she's curious as to whether you guys are telling me to tell her to go to he!!.
Thanks again you guys. You put a positive ending on a rather intense day...
