jethro, i have to say i think you are doing so well! really. i could not eat for a month or sleep. your w is trying and that should be of some comfort. one thing from my experience is that i asked a lot of questions and felt shitty about the answers. but i really had to know things, and sometimes the answers made me feel better. but only you know what you need as far as info. and asking too many questions can wear you both down. i made mistakes in asking big questions too soon. the answers have changed over time. and this causes confusion. and doubt. i wish i could have a do over as much as my h! i would be less reactive, ask less(for my own good, not his) and save the why's and how could you's. after so much time my h still doesn't have all these answers. it has been ten monthes we are working on things and i still have really bad days. give yourself lots of patience, please. you are doing so well. do not beat yourself up. keep coming here first. lisa
