Quote: Keep in mind that you don't want to turn these talk into a pattern of what is to come as it will eventually be preceived as you won't be able to let it go and heal.
yup!! yup!! yup!! when h first came back, I let him be open about his fears and his pain and all that, then I let my feelings out, thing is they kept coming (well I had kept them from him in my db efforts so once that gate opened it was hard to close it) at first he was compasionate and understanding, I could let it out and he would offer comfort..but it seemed I had reached a point were it was no longer "accepted" as my venting my "pain" but my "beating him up" he even went so far as to say "you were doing better when I wasn't here". that obviously not true (but I did a good job of "acting as if" well ok sometimes it wasn't an act) it is hard but if we are to move on, we must accept that the pain is ours to deal with and recognize that they to are in pain. I don't think anyone that has had an affair can tell you they are proud of it or happy with themselves for having done so. So now that you have voiced your feelings about it, try to keep the venting about them here, that is not to say that you should keep all your hurt and anger in, but try to vent it all out here or somewhere else first and let w know in a loving way how you are feeling. and remember that it is not her job to make you feel better about it all, it is up to the two of you to make your m a place where this is all just a bad chapter of a good book!!
