One thing I want to point out is just how potent these affairs can be. I don't think there's any clear cut answer about how long they last, but my guess is that continued contact can make it particularly difficult. Yoyo wife, I think the fact your husband works with her makes it really difficult. On the positive side, it's a real testamony to you that he's still in the marriage in spite of how much contact he has with her. Let's just pray it's negative and that she get's offered a better job in another state.
SLmom, in my own sitch my husband's affair lasted about 8 months. For him it was an MLC "exit affair." It provided him with a good reason and emotional support for divorce (just as I was gathering proof and getting information he filed).
In some ways it's kind of surprising to me it lasted so long because she lives out of state and is married (it did last much longer than I realized). They were only able to see each other about once a month for a class they took together and when my husband needed to travel there for work (they work for the same company but different divisons).
Anyhow, even after the physical contact dwindled down and began to end (only on very rare occurances does he need to travel there), it was very difficult for them to let go of the affair.
By the way, I think it helped that I told her husband. She was completely frantic after that!!! Actually, if I hadn't told him perhaps it would have gone longer. I don't know.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
