OH VOMIT!!! I e-mailed my XH to see how his weekend was. He has been house shopping, and he told me that he looked a the house that is next door to his 57 y/o friend. And SURPRISE SURPRISE he is very interested in it!
That just makes me sick on so many levels. He is 28 years old he doesn't need to live next to his second mommy. If I had suggested that we move in next to my mother he would have FREAKED out and told me that I needed to freaking grow up! He already spends EVERY waking hour there does he really need to live next to her? Doesn't he want his own space? Doesn't he want his own life? I know that if he moves in next to her the chances of us getting back together and continue a friendship is pretty much zero. He doesn't want her to know that he is talking to me. So I sure as HECK won't be able to go over there and see him. It was hard enough for me to realize that when he had a house warming party, that I would not be invited. But now this? He won't come over to my house b/c of the memories and our dog... but if this goes through I won't get to see him!
And as much as I want to say something about that, I know I can't. That will just make him mad. I guess this is another case of one step forward 3 giant steps back.
Grrr... I am soooo pissed!
R2
It breaks my heart that I am losing my husband to someone who does NOT have his best interests at heart!
You know it is pretty sad that you want to live next door to your mother! I think it is about time you got your own life. You spend every day over there with her and you spend all your weekends with her. YOu used to make fun of people who hung out with their moms all the time. Haven't you turned into exactly that. Even 57 y/o's son doesn't spend as much time over there as you. And I guess if you want to be her little "go to" man then great, b/c you know living next door to her you will be "expected" to help her out. Kind of funny you were my ONLY family up here and you did more for her in the past year than you EVER did for me in the 9 years I have known you. Maybe you need to start dating her! For all intensive purposes she is your gf. YOu spend a majority of your time with her, she makes you dinner all the time, you spend every weekend with her, if she needs something she calls you, you talk with her daily and you text message each other. All you need to do is start to "ML" to her and you are set with a GREAT relationship. So if you are just using me for sex, then this can stop now and you can just continue to beat off or start hooking up with 57 y/o woman. I am tired of being your "hidden" friend. I am tired of you "vowing" to peopel that you won't contact me. I deserve more than this! You are right XH, I might be too good for you! Lucky for you I want you still, but this offer has an expiration date. I wouldn't think about the offer too long because before you know it the BEST thing that EVER happened to you will be gone. And you will have NO ONE to blame but yourself!
R2....
Okay that is what I would love to tell him... but it all would go in one ear out the other. I have the feeling he told 57 y/o friend that he was talking to me again. Which might explain his "distance" in the past couple of days. Maybe I am wrong, but I just have a feeling. I do hope I am wrong. I do hope he kept our private business private and I do hope that he thinks twice about living next to this woman.
Okay well I think my XH is having his "period" right now. Things were going fine we were being friendly chatting etc... etc... and then BAM... he isn't responding like he normally does. He has put up an ad on Match.com.
I still love him with all my heart, but this is getting OLD! This being close, talking, being normal friends.... but BAM something happens (I never know what I can only guess it is that he starts to have feelings for me) and he isn't talking to me again.
Does this cat and mouse game EVER end? I am just tired. I just want to talk to him. I just want to have a real conversation and find out what is going on in his head. I find all of this VERY tiring! I also find it hard. Because I NEVER call him. I let him call me, I will e-mail him, but I back off when he gets quiet etc. I don't know. Maybe I am Standing for something that he really doesn't want anymore. Maybe I am Standing and waiting for my partner to return and he isn't even in the same state as I am.
Why are MLC/QLC incapable of having a conversation and being honest?
Maybe this is me moving on.... but I just want more than that. I want to be able to call and not feel like I would be intruding on his life. I want to be able to ask him why he does the things he does, without feeling like I should not be asking him any question. I want to be able to ask him out to lunch without him getting all "weird" on me. I want to be able to ask him about more than work. I just feel confined. I feel like I am his "hidden" secret and I need to stay in the shadows. I am just tired of being "Shadow Girl". I have been in the shadows for most of our realtionship. I just want more.
