ROOT, Unfortunately W's had all of the above, (except A) that I know of: co-worker going through nasty D, 3 friends going through nasty D, friends telling her that she just has to take care of herself. It was kind of funny. W isolated herself from our friends. People she new who wouldn't support her, but she migrated to acquaintances that felt sorry for her. I honestly think W has had some real issues for a long time. Not that I didn't help our sitch any. As things have gone on and on, I think it became too much for her. I think w/ the passing of her F she realized she never really got over the passing of her M. W never really seemed to be that close w/ her B's. Most of her stories about growing up w/ her family involved how cruel her B's teased her. How her F was verbally and mentally abusive. W didn't have good relationships w/ other BF in HS or college. She was molested by a neighborhood boy when she was growing up. She was raped in HS. She more less supported herself for last 5 or 6 yrs. before we met. She's been alone or isolated her self for protection most of her life. She's said she has always felt like POLIANNA and always feels like she's trying to please everyone else. She wanted to M and have a F, but I don't think she ever realized just how much of a responsibility it was going to be. She wanted the fun, but not the work. As we've progressed through our M and R as the family has grown, the more responsibility required, or more diversification and attention required, the less she has been willing to accept. Whe W & I first married, things were great. Four yrs later, S8 was born. All of a sudden, I'm not that interesting anymore. I require too much time. S8 is the newest shinest thing. Five years later, S3 is born. I didn't even exist. But the really sad part was, she did the same to S8 that she did to me before. He was no longer the shiniest thing on showroom floor. All of her attention was/is to S3. This to the point that S8 has even commented that Mom doesn't pay as much attention to him as to S3. Before he was to young to really realize it or understand it. Now, he's old enough to comprehend it. Even more sad is I'm afraid it's also starting to happen w/ S3. Mommy's decided she's paid too much attention to everyone else, now she's going to be primary focus. The C has only re-enforced it. All she talks about now is how she wants to be by herself. She's constantly looking at travel/training brochures for her job now. She's going to X to train for this, and Y to train for this, and Z for something else and go back to school for her PhD. To W, this is not being self centered, this is what she's owed now.
