Atomic Bomb Exploded...R Fragments Everywhere!

[jethro]

Hey everyone. Last night and today have been tough, but it seems to be a little better.

IMHO I dont think she really knows yet what she feels. Let it go. When she is ready she will tell you. I do think I love evolves. And yes I do think the passion will come back. But I think when it will take a long time. But it will be worth the wait.

I very much hope so, Abby. I hope it evolves. Sometimes I think she's back to the old alien with the old regrets about getting M and having kids. It's probably just my paranoia.

She needs time to forgive herself. Does she know that you forgive her? Have you? At least she is dealing with it differently now.

I have not told her "I forgive you;" and frankly, I don't feel like it yet. I'm not ready. I have told her we would work it out and that things would be better. I asked her last night what she thought my reaction would be to her telling me the truth. She told me she was afraid, that I'd possibly take it out on the kids (huh?), and that I'd be so hurt I'd do something drastic and sacrifice our R. In a later conversation when we were talking about our New Years resolutions, she went on to say that she can't believe where I am today and how much I've changed. She said it with such...sincerity. It was nice hearing the acknowledgement of my efforts.

I dont think you will ever be satisfied w/ her answer if you have to ask the ILY?.

I agree 100%, Abby.

What kind od music do you play on you g? Is this hobby? Sounds like a good outlet.

Mostly blues stuff...with an edge.

Baby steps bellis. Don't get too impatient. Things are moving along, perhaps not as quickly as you would like, but they are moving. I want to thank you again for all of your support, and wish you the best 2003 possible.

Yes, I have to majorly slow down. I'm pushing and need to back off and give her space. She's been through a lot and I need to let her deal with it still. In terms of giving you support, it's my pleasure, my friend. I want the best 2003 for you. Let's hope your W's demons are exorcised.

I have to wonder, if she declared her undying love for you, from the bottom of her heart, would you believe her?

Uhhhh...yeah. Well, okay, I'd be suspicious, but dammit, I want to hear those words so badly.

Also, and this is important, you know that love is a decision. She has made that decision now, and is investing in your loving relationship. Now it can evolve to what you want it to be. Give it time.

Agreed, RJJ. I feel she has truly made that decision. In the past, right after each of the two bombs, she made the same promise to work on our M, but it was half-hearted, and I knew not very realistic. This time it's different...it really is. I know that the best medicine is time and caring for each other's needs. It's just so hard right now working through my pain.

We need to take our time and remember that there is a lot to heal.

You're right...Dienne. I'm trying to remind myself of this daily...hourly...by the minute.

Thanks guys.

bellis