I KNOW my H does plenty of solo activity. There is virtually no way that he isn't. In my book no one can go that long with nothing. I am not in denial that he does nor would the nature of it surprise me much. The internet has made it possible to connect with people in myriad ways that aren't technical "cheating" so not alot would surprise me. I also believe that people can convince themselves that it is ok for a million reasons that their partner simply wouldn't go along with. "She's tired". "She's a Mom and wouldn't want to x,y,z". "I have needs she wouldn't understand." "I'm tired and this is just easier." "I'm bored but at least I'm faithful." and on and on.
The problem I get into with snooping is that in my case it would take more than the garden variety of snooping and would require a breech of trust that it pretty inexcusable. My H's computer is his work computer. We also have a family computer. Everyone has a personal, passworded account that contains varying levels of privileges depending on age and level of responsibility. This is mostly to keep people from inadvertantly screwing up corporate files/archives. Although I do have an account on H's work computer I do not have administrative priviledges. In order to track keystrokes I would have to breech trust by (a)acting as the administator (hacking in as H) and (b) getting on a computer I NEVER use for the sole purpose of spying.
I could get in to H's account if I chose to but I wouldn't find anything because H is tidy man in everything and I will guarantee he does only private browsing, cleans up his cookies etc... There would be nothing there no matter what activities he is up to. So guess what - realistically, the only thing I could really do would be to get H to talk about this topic and be honest. I believe that as a point of honor he does only whatever he thinks is ok - where that stops and starts I just don't know. I don't think he is having an affair per se but that doesn't mean I think he is pure as the driven snow. I'm just not sure he will ever talk to me about this.
Lou - I'm with you. I'm going to try that one tonight.
