My wife thinks that making dinner, or paying the bills, or washing the clothes, or talking with me is showing me that I am loved. This stuff means NOTHING to me.
Finally, some insight. CeMar, she IS SHOWING you that she loves you, in her own love language. She's doesn't "think" those things are telling you that, she IS telling you that. Yet you refuse to accept that she is telling you that...because it's not said in your language.
How do you expect her to speak your love language in her attempts to show you she loves you if you don't speak hers and form an intimate connection with her...it won't happen? I see you totally dismissing her way of saying I love you...and that won't work....in fact that's horribly hurtful to her I'm sure. My response to your post when you said that was OUCH! If that came across on here that way, I can only imagine how your behavior at home comes across. OUCH!!
My H has never stopped speaking his own love languages to me, but he has attempted to incorporate what I need (once I spoke his LL)....but I have NEVER dismissed his attempts to say I love you in the ways that are meaninful to him, to me. I've made the effort to recognize his AOS to me as "I love you", and that helped to begin to fill my love tank. I had to conciously see those things and recognize what he was saying/doing, and then I began to try to speak his love languages...THEN some emotional intimacy was achieved and things improved from there. This is NOT limited to my H CeMar...this same thing applies to your W. However if you continue to view the way your W says she loves you currently as NOTHING, then you will not move foward. It's not nothing, it's meaningful...you need to learn to validate it!
As the HD spouse you CANNOT sit back and wait for her to do things, YOU must get things going. I had to do it, Honeypot had to do it, and countless males on here have had to do it. It's not GENDER specific....it's HD/LD specific.
FWIW...there is nothing wrong with wanting to be "desired" but right now, you are nowhere in the ballpark of having that happen.
