Just some journaling from the weekend, as well a little insight to the current trend.
First of all, the weekend didn't really go all that great thanks to yours truly. I did one of the top ten on the list of "NO NOS". I snooped. Not only did I snoop, I got caught snooping. Yes, I know snooping does you ablsolutely no good whats so over, but I did it anyway. I got tired of waiting for the shoe to drop. W had told me she was filing. I knew W had contacted her L. I knew L was responding w/ the status of something last week. Early Sunday moring, two of our dogs woke me up to go side. When I let them through the garage. I decide to do some snooping where she used to hide stuff during our first adventure. I went through her vehicle looking for paperwork. The last dog woke her up and wanted to go outside. She opens the garage door to let him out back and I'm sitting in her van go through things. I didn't try to explain it or hide it. When she asked what I was doing I told her I was snooping for papers from her L. I was tired of wainting and not knowing what was going on. Surprisingly, she didn't explode, but I know she was p!$$ed. She just turned around and went back to up to bed.
Heywyre, all of those involed right (C,MC,OBGYN) know about her cutting, but unless I either get a court order or she agress to it, she doesn't have to agree to any treatment. She flat out denies she'S experiencing any type of depression. She absolute will not go AD's. She's gone big into natural alternatives to medicine. Having the GP call her C won't do any good. C and MC are both on the alternative medicine side. Besides, I just found out where this new found path of enlightenment, which my W has decided to travel down, has come from. I decided to call C myself. The stuff spewing out of W's mouth is coming directly from C. It's not that C is directly telling her to leave R,M or F, but her whole philosophy is that each person is independent of everyone else. Another words, W is not responsible of her actions cause others discomfort or hurt. That MLC's are actually a good thing. C refers to them as Mid Life Awakenings. Sometimes the MLA allows you to get in touch w/ problems from your childhood and helps you understand and overcome your past problems. In order to be able to heal your past problems, one has to concentrait only on one's self. Everything else must be sacrificed for the individual's well being. So, it doesn't make a difference if 12 years ago you decided to be M. And 8 years ago, you decided to have a child and 3 years ago you decided to have another child. If your not happy now, then you just need to change things and say, "to hell w/ everyone else, they don't matter. I have to be happy and I'm the only one that matters." C also feels that as long as W and I "take the high road" through out the D, the children w/ be just fine. We'll be teaching them about R and it will give them a healthier understand about them for when they grow-up.
IS IT JUST ME, OR IS THIS THE BIGGEST LOAD OF WISHY WASHY, DON'T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS KIND OF CRAP ANYONE HAS EVERY HEARD!!! IT'S A REAL NICE THING TO BE DOLING OUT THIS PHILISOPHICAL GARBAGE TO A MOTHER OF TWO THAT IF SHE'S JUST NOT HAPPY W/ HER DECISIONS AND HOW HER LIFE'S TURNED OUT TO PICK UP AND WALK OUT!
Maybe I'm being just a little biased. Seems to me that parents used to concerned what happened to their kids. P realised their children's happiness and wellbeing was their responsibility, whether they liked it or not. Maybe I'm in the wrong era.
I'll get off my soapbox now.
I can only wait until W's next C appt. Boy it ought to really hit the fan when she gets home that night.
