I'm going to risk being obnoxious and suggest that you really need to figure out what kind of sex life, even if that means being a spy, your H is having since he clearly isn't having much of one with you. I think being a spy is indicative of fusion but I also think it might tell you what you might most want to deny.
Mojo,
I'm going to say that spying isn't always indicative of fusion (I know you didn't say it always is). I don't feel that my spying on my H was fusion. I spied on my H because I truly felt the saying was true "if you aren't getting it with me you are getting it somewhere", and I wanted to know what was really going on....in order to deal with it, or not. For me it was a search for information...that led to a pretty shocking discovery.
I will absolutely agree with you though that she might find out something she really either doesn't expect or would prefer to deny.
Karen, if you do go snooping...be prepared for whatever you might find out. It may be nothing, but you might get a shocker like I did too.
