You're right SD, It is about pain. However, W feels only way to deal w/ pain is to bury it until she can't handle it any more and then let's it explode. W has been in a great deal a pain. Would never let me be there for support. W said always felt like she couldn't bother me w/ it. Says she knew I was too stressed from work. It didn't make a difference how many times I asked her to tell me what was going through her head, or I knew she was hurting from something and I want to be there for her. I guess what hurt that was I'm the proverbial fixer. I never knew I wasn't supposed to help fix things. That's how I grew up. If someone was in trouble or needed something, you helped them fix it. When W would finally tell me her problems, I'd offer solutions. Found out W didn't want that. She felt like I was trying to control her, manipulate her. W felt like I didn't think she was competent enough to take care of things. She just wanted me to listen. I just wasn't smart enough to do that.
