I have spent some time away as I don't have too much to discuss. I have not given up on this board, just bouncing any of my thoughts off of a good friend that I have made here. Also, I don't have anything exciting to report.
I finally heard from H on Thursday while I was at the grocery store. This is how the convo went:
Me: Hello H: Are you at home? Me: No H: I tried calling the house and no one answered. Me: Mom probably didn't recognize the number and didn't answer. H: I called to talk to S5 before he went to bed Me: Why? H: I was thinking about taking him out for lunch tomorrow and spending the afternoon with him. Me: You buying him doesn't mean crap to him. He wants his daddy home and playing games with him. H: (absolute silence) Me: I am just irritated that I haven't heard from you in 5 days and you call just because you want something. H: *Nasty* Well, I have been working my a$$ off so that I have some money. Me: And how is it my fault that you don't have any money? H: I didn't say it was. Me: Then why did you just get nasty with me. H: (backpeddling) I just said...... Me: If you don't want to talk, then just hang up. H: I don't have anything to say to you. Me: Then why did you call? H: I am at work Me: I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but I have an appointment with a lawyer on Monday. I can't wait around for you to decide what you want. You can't give me what I want or need so I need to move on. H: OK Me: (I stayed quiet this time) H: Well I will try to call S5 tomorrow. Me: Whatever, bye
I hung up. I am tired of being the doormat. I feel great about where I am. I am looking forward to finding that one person that CAN and WILL make me happy and wants to do those things.
My H is not that person. So forget him.....did he call on Friday like he said?!?!? Silly question, absolutely not! He called on Saturday around 2pm when he knew that the kids were down for naps. I was on the phone for 2 minutes and just kept telling him that they were sleeping. He said that he would try to stop at 4pm. He showed up at about 4:15 and left by 5:15 because he had to be at work at 6pm. Now if you knew anything about where we live, my home is 10 miles at the most away from where he works. I can tell you that it does not take 45 minutes to get there. Maybe 15 at the most. But I didn't say anything. He said his goodbyes to everyone and looked at me and said "see ya" I didn't respond. I kept chatting online with my friend. I did not walk him out like I use to do so much and talk to him about us! I am through with that!
He mentioned that he was going to come over and see S5 on Sunday and of course didn't show. I sent him a tm asking him never to tell him that he was going to come again. Because when he does it and doesn't show, I have to deal with all of the questions. He called several hours later to apologize and give his excuses....whatever.
So that is all for now. Nothing exciting but at least I can say that I am happy with where I am.
"Be patient to persevere and wait for God to heal. Keep in mind that you are both imperfect people. Look to God as the source of all you want to see in your marriage and don't worry how it will happen...Leave it in His hands."
