Thanks, everyone. Yes, all of those stories certainly help to give us perspective on our own lives, don't they? Very humbling indeed. Thank you for sharing so openly.
Well, just a few more hours until the move... I'm scared and nervous. Will be glad to get it over with.
H nor his Mom called me about the races today. I ended up just deciding to go by myself. I just felt like I wanted to support him, regardless of whether it was the right thing to do or not. I guess I wanted to show him that I'm still there for him to support his goals and dreams, even though things are tough right now. It was a bit symbolic for me, I suppose. I knew I wouldn't be able to just go to the office and work; I was just too distracted thinking about it. So I decided to stop fighting it and just go and see what happened. Then I panicked, thinking that he might have invited OW to go and that that is why he didn't say anything to me about going... So then I freaked out and knew I had to go and see, because if he was going to start bringing her into his "outside" life like that, it would crush me.
So, I cruised the parking lot before going in just to make sure that I didn't see OW's car there. That's all I would've needed... I didn't so I went in. I called H's mom when I got there, and she didn't end up going because she's sick. So I was there all by myself. I sat up in the stands where we normally do.
H came up during the intermission and thanked me for coming and sat with me for a while and talked. He asked me how last night was, and we talked about some business stuff, too. Then he had to go back to race again, so he asked me if I was going to the office when the races were over, and I said yes, and he said he'd see me there. He gave me a hug (not provoked by me) and thanked me again for coming. I told him that I wanted to be there.
He won the main event, so I stayed until he got his trophy. I said hi to him and his dad when it was over, and then his dad invited me out to dinner with them. So we went and ate together, the three of us. It was nice. He hugged me again in the parking lot before I left and said he'd see me at the office.
Well, he never showed up at the office, so of course I was sad. It was my last night up at the office, at least for now, so that was hard, too. I ended up leaving and cruising by OW's house (bad) since it was my last night up there to see if H's car was there. I didn't see it, which was probably for the best for my mental state...
Then I drove home, worried and hoping that he hadn't stopped by our home and gotten more stuff, as he has to bring his race car back to close to our house, so I knew he was in the area. I settled down once I realized that he had not taken anything else. Then I looked on the guest bed where I am sleeping right now, and he left me a note! It said something like "thank you for coming to the track today. Sweet dreams, and I am working on getting back to us. H" Of course I break down in tears... Then I feel guilty about moving the office, yet hopeful that maybe this will be what is needed to push him over the edge if he is indeed planning on coming home. I did NOT ask him to leave me a note, ask him to stop by the house, anything like that, so it was so nice that he left the note all on his own, and for him to say in the note that he was still planning on working on our M meant to much to me, as for once this was not in response to my questioning him or badgering him mercilessly. He did this on his own and chose his own words to say to me. It really meant a lot. I know it seems small, but it meant the world to me.
So since it's late I just wrote him a short e-mail and said "thank you for the nice note. Great job at the races today. Hope to see you soon..." and left it at that...
Granted, he left me a note on New Year's Eve and asked me to just be patient, and then he didn't come home for a month and a week after that, so I have no idea what to think of this note, and he could even change his mind completely. I know this. But, again, to have him 1.) leave me a note at all and 2.) say what he did, really meant a lot to me. I hope he wouldn't give me false hope like that if it's not what he's feeling right now...
Well, I'm going to do my best to try and get some sort of rest. I didn't end up packing up any boxes tonight. I was just too upset. So I have to go in to the office early tomorrow morning and get everything ready to go, so I must try and get some rest.
I know you're going to hit me over the head with a few 2X4's for going to the races today, but I really feel like it turned out okay. I just hope moving my office tomorrow isn't going to backfire after some progress today with things...
Wish me luck on what I know is going to be a really tough day tomorrow... Thank you again for all of your support and encouragement.
Here's a hint - even if he catches you at it and talks to you while you are doing it - it's STILL STALKING .....
I didn't have a Stalking Period, so I can only imagine the compulsion that is driving you here, but the rule with phases of un DBlike behaviour is that they have a shelf life. This one is up.
Get packing.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
2940, I don't get your sitch. Does he want out or not? Is he stringing you along for the business's sake and just in case he's made a mistake, ALL while "doing" the OW? Is that what this is? Tell me, b/c I am not getting it, or your compulsion to do the opposite of what you KNOW you need to do.SOMEONE please explain the sitch to me? MLC?? WAS?? Limbo Man?? thanks, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
25, I don't get my situation either. Let me know if you figure it out...
Well, I'm halfway through my move. The movers are at the house now dropping everything off...
Gotta run and take this computer down and put in the new one, but just wanted to tell you that I'm doing it, and I feel like I'm going to throw up...
H was at the office this morning. I got there around 6:30, and his car was there, so I drove around, as I decided I didn't want to see him this morning before the move. Well, I drove around until 7:45, and he was still there! So I finally had to go in, as I hadn't even packed yet, and the movers were going to be there as early as 8 am! Well, as soon as I drove up, I thought to myself, "I wonder if H is sleeping in there." Well, sure enough, he was. So I woke him up, and he got up and went downstairs. So I'm frantically trying to pack boxes like a crazy woman as fast as I can, and he's still there... still there... still there... I kept praying for him to leave! But, he didn't. So the movers showed up, and he was still there, so I went down the answer the door when they rung the doorbell. And I went in to his office and said something like "just so you know, I'm moving my office back home." He said okay. And then I had to tend to the movers. So I went back into his office a few minutes later and told him quickly that I would talk to him more about this later. He said okay.
So, the movers started, and he did leave eventually. Then, my phone rang a bit later, and it was him. I decided not to answer it. I listened to the voicemail message when I was in the car with the movers following me home, and he was really, really gruff in the message... He said something about that the internet had quit and that he didn't know if I was taking my computer but if I could leave whatever parts he would need to hook back up to the internet, and then he got off the phone very harshly... Uh-oh...
So, now I have all of these scary thoughts going through my mind, like what if he talked to her last night and then went to our office. I was at the office until a little after 9 o'clock, and he obviously wasn't there yet... Maybe he just came to the office early this morning and decided he was tired... I don't know. Just to have him write that note to me last night and then be at the office this morning sleeping so late (NOT like him AT ALL...) He's always up early and out the door... So now I'm completely freaking out that he was maybe going to come home and I messed everything up... So I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to say to him now... STRESS!!!!! I want to still sound empowered, but I don't want him to think I've given up on us... I'm worried that I made a mistake...
You know that you are not ready for him to come home so why worry about his intentions...I would just state like I said before that for now working from home is best for you...the future remains to be seen...
If everything is there to take care of the internet just call and tell him what he needs...if not, make sure and get it back to him...
You are scared you made a mistake moving your office? Are you kidding? I mean, you moved your office to your home b/c YOUR H SAID HE WANTS SOME SPACE, and YOU NEED to have some space of your own. It's just not healthy to be around him so much, given the givens. STOP worrying that this office move, this ONE action of self protection on your part, means you've ruined the M. It's the first and only thing you've done other than smothering/pursuing him, (which we all know has NOT worked at all). For God's sake, think this out. Back off of him. Who knows why he was "gruff" b/c the computer failed, or what ever....STOP the over analyzing. You need to get back into your work, remember that? And you have to GAL and you simply cannot do that when your H is 10 feet away from you. What is there to miss, if you are always around? Please, please stop losing it. Get a grip, take a breath and focus on what you CAN do right now. Finish the move, do some work, earn some money. Call a friend, rent a comedy, and do not bring up R with your H. That is so important I'll repeat it for emphasis: NO MORE R TALK...you are sooooo doing the opposite of what would attract a man back to you. Maybe at some level you don't want him to come back? I'm just asking, b/c you keep making the same mistake over and over, and I wonder if it's really weakness/fear OR if maybe you really do want him out of your life.
Just curious, no offense. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
