Holly - I don't know what I want/need. I will have to think about that.
Jeff and AH - you both have similar ideas. I've been thinking along the same lines - being cold just is not who I am. I want to act in a way that is authentic; I'm just not sure what that is right now.
BM - I can always count on you to bring me back down to earth! Yeah, I don't even know why I care at all anymore.
NJ - Did you have another name before? It sounds like you've been here for a while. It's true that I do still have expectations of H; boy, it is so hard to let go of those. Thanks for your thoughts.
Well, I am doing better. I did indeed hear something I needed to at church, which was that God had something in store for Jacob that was even more wonderful than he could have imagined, better than what he could have created by his own hand. Jacob tried to engineer his own future, but even he couldn't do as good a job.
So I will quit trying to engineer my own future, as of NOW. ha ha ha ha ha! But seriously, it is something I have to work on.
I have just frittered my day away and done no work at all, but I do have to get some done before I go to bed. I spoke to my brother and my dad. My bro and I talked about his R with gf ~ he doesn't know if it's headed to M or not. We talked about how love is an action word, and feelings follow actions. Apparently, she says the same thing! We'll see where he goes with that. My dad told me to just move on, said he doesn't understand why I have any feelings for H and I should just take care of myself and my kids. But then he said that H might be happier now, but it's not my problem!!! Ack! Okay, he's right, but I didn't want to hear that he might actually be really happy.
I don't know what was up with me this morning...low blood sugar? Not enough sleep? Anyways, I'm feeling better for now.
First mediation appt is Tuesday. I think it will be just about the rules of mediation and some forms to fill out. Still, not looking forward to it.
I think this thread is going to lock, so I'll start a new one.
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
