Thank you for all the great advice. I think I am doing a pretty good job of taking the high road. I guess b/c my H still treats me like a stranger most of the time I feel like things between us will never change, but when I read stories like yours I realize that they can. Thank you for that! Your stitch gives me hope.
I am realizing that all of this takes lots and lots of time and patience. I do believe that my H is noticing my changes , but agree with you that he is still in a fog. He isn't close to being ready to admit he may have made a mistake.
In the meantime I will continue to be a friend , from a distance. If he asks for a favor I will help him out occasionally, but not every time. I am trying to show him what unconditional love is by my actions. Hopefully he will see this.
Right now I feel like maybe he has been kinder to me b/c we are starting the divorce action and he doesn't want me to "rake him through the coals!" He figures if he is nice to me I won't go after more money.
I hope I am wrong and he is being nicer b/c he is seeing my positive changes. I have been trying to be a better listener and be compassionate with him when he does call me about something. I try to be considerate of his feelings about things even though it isn't reciprocated !!
I am a very trusting person and want to believe people when they tell me something. I used to think this was a good trait, but now I wonder. When it comes to my H , he takes advantage of this b/c he knows this about me.
After your D in 12/05, how often did you see your XW? How did she notice you had changed if you no longer lived together and were dating other people?
I really do appreciate you posting back to me. It has helped .
