I have never posted to you before, but just got done reading your threads. I have been M for 10 years, we have a d7 together.
My H left me almost 2 years ago , involved with Ow, in process of a divorce, and I believe he is in a MLC.
From what I have read in your posts, your S left 3 years ago and you are divorced, is that right? I also ready some of the issues that you posted about your M and how your S felt neglected by you.
My H has expressed similiar things to me. For the first year after he left we went from still being initimate and dating to him cutting me out of his life and turning very angry and nasty with me, threatening divorce many times over the past 1 1/2 years, but never filed until recently.
I found out about 1 year after he moved out that he had Ow. Up until this time I was suspicious, but didn't have proof. H has always denied he was having an A before he left me, but I now know he was. H also told my MIL that he had been confiding in Ow for awhile, but she was just his "friend".
He is living with Ow and H has filed for divorce. He treats me almost like an aquaintance. He is very distant and cold towards me. I have am pleasant to him and try to be upbeat in his presence. I don't bring up Ow to him at all.
My question to you is- how exactly did you treat your XW since she left you? Have you always been kind and treated her with respect inspite of her walking away from your M??
Lately I feel like I am on the right track with my H, even though D is looking pretty inevitable right now. Just this past week he has been nicer to me and even asked me about a tooth in his mouth that is bothering him tonight ( I am a dental Hygienist)
I still love my H and know this is going to be a very long journey with no guarantees, but I am willing to continue to stand for my M anyway. We had something very special once and want nothing more than to have another chance with him.
H still has Ow and moved in with her this past Novemeber. I think he is in love with her or at least he thinks he is. From what I am told about Ow, she is pushy, ugly, and well-- she got involved with a M man with a family, shall I say more?? She is a "shank". I hope that my H will begin to see her true colors soon. He has been with her for over 2 years now so I am beginning to lose hope that their A will end anytime soon.
My hope is that once Ow begins to show her "warts", H will begin to see me in a new light. Maybe he will look back at me. I am trying to become a woman only a fool would leave!
I have been working on myself for the past 2years. Becoming a better person and making needed changes. I have learned so much about R's and how to maintain and sustain them. If my H would only come home he would see that our M would be different. I wish he would believe in us again.
WOuld you mind giving me some advice on how to treat the WAS with respect and dignity, while being their friend?
