I'm not sure Cemar is getting this but maybe some others will. I know people had issues with what I said before about how Cemars wife may "bring herself to have sex with him" and then feel resentful about it, but what you are talking about now is exactly what I meant.
Many women are raised to believe that men who want sex with them regardless of the fact that there is no "intimacy" (or emotional connection) beforehand are only using them and if they succumb to this it is something to be ashamed of. So....why would, or should, that change just because you are married to the guy? It is not about a wife refusing to have sex with her hubby (at least not always). It is about the struggle going on in the woman's mind about whether she is supposed to give up her self-esteem, self-respect and the standards she grew up with...give up her Self... in order to make her husband happy. And men like Cemar expect her to do it with no effort on his part to build that EC first. That is a very difficult place to be. It builds major resentment.
Exactly... feeling empty and used comes out of s given to please even though unhappiness and issues exist that keep that marriage tense. And that is what happens here with me. I give in and feel empty and then i am angry and resentful. Angry that I give in and resentful to him because if I don't then the whole atmosphere at home for my kids is short fused and negative. And the thing is...I truly think if we both read the LL book that could be a pivotal part of improving our marriage. He will be gone for a few days...perfect time for me to read it.
